Personality Info

 

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Powerful Choleric Red

 

Beginning with Powerful Choleric Red makes sense, because a person with this personality temperament likes to be first. This personality is best illustrated by a mountain with tall peaks and visibly sharp rocky edges, where one is able to see far beyond wherever one stands. The passive observer, uninterested in the climb does not see hidden deeply within the mountain, just out of view, waterfalls, wild flowers and gentle meadows.

These dynamic people “dream the impossible dream” and aim to reach the “unreachable star.” Robert Browning’s expression aptly applies to the Powerful Choleric personality: A man’s reach must exceed his grasp or what’s a Heaven for? Powerful Choleric are always aiming, reaching, succeeding. They live for the future, anticipating the next project or adventure. In fact, it is difficult to get them to be in the present long enough to celebrate.

They are the people who embrace a challenge. When someone says, “It can’t be done,” they immediately go about finding a way to do it. And you can count on them to make sure it succeeds. They hate to fail, so they always have an alternate plan. Their thinking process goes something like this; “Now, if that doesn’t work, I will do this.” They offset fear with rational alternatives and simply do what needs to be done. This can be the easiest temperament to understand and get along with, as long as you live by their golden rule: “Do it my way—NOW!”

However, the mature Powerful Choleric almost never comes right out and says that. Male or female, the Powerful Choleric Red has a dominant, intimidating personality. A Powerful Choleric typically avoids or plays down emotions; they find expressing emotions is uncomfortable, primarily because doing so makes them feel vulnerable. They prefer moving forcefully through life. Their communication style is to give quick solutions, commands and orders. The Powerful Choleric doesn’t tolerate chit-chat well: “Just the facts, ma’am.” They will cut off others in mid-sentence to get to the point. They place real value on clear and concise communication. A clue to their communication style is that they often begin sentences with, “I need …”

Powerful Choleric can be intense and vocal and they may point, pound the table, and wag their finger in your face.

I have a friend who is a Powerful Choleric. Depending on your personality, you would find that going anyplace with him is always an adventure or an embarrassment. At the very least, such outings provide an education in how to get what one wants.

One evening, we went to a popular restaurant, but we hadn’t made reservations. He walked up to the hostess at the podium and asked for a table for two. When asked if he had a reservation, without flinching, my friend said calmly, “I always come here for dinner when I am in town. Is there a problem?” The hostess tried to explain how busy they were, and he dismissed her without even listening. He said, “Would you please ask your manager to come over?” She left a little flustered and returned with the manager. After a short conversation, the manager personally seated us and apologized for the inconvenience. I was amazed; my friend never wavered in his intention to be seated. He came from a place of power without acting upset or angry. He handled himself well. Now, I know the Blue personality types who are reading this may be saying, “That’s not fair, what about the others who were waiting?” Please note that my description was not intended to defend Reds, I am just saying, it is what it is.

The Powerful Choleric operates in a very logical, sensible manner. They are direct and honest with opinions (opinionated). They communicate well verbally, and they direct conversations in a productive, pragmatic way. You always know where you stand in a relationship with a Powerful Choleric personality. Some people associate this personality with loud and controlling people, which can sometimes be true. However, when a Red behaves in that way, he or she is acting from the most pure, childlike core. A mature Powerful Choleric has mastered their power and has no need for tantrums, as demonstrated in the aforementioned example.

Powerful Choleric rise quickly to causes and campaigns for the right. They are never indifferent or apathetic, but concerned and confident. A Powerful Choleric can run anything, whether or not they have any prior knowledge of the project. They love being out in front, and they insist on taking credit for their own—and often for the group’s—achievements. They are visionaries and, once they see the goal, they maintain a strong sense of perspective and focus. The Powerful Choleric is highly disciplined and productive with follow-through. They have a strong orientation to project completion. They are always looking for ways to move to the top or front in any situation. For this reason, many CEOs of companies and politicians have Powerful Choleric personalities.

Their greatest asset is their ability to accomplish more than anyone else. When a Powerful Choleric looks at a task, he or she knows instantly how it should be handled and goes about dividing the project into chunks of work, quickly assigning the chores among the group. They are masterful at delegating. Powerful Choleric can always do the work better if they can keep other people out of the way. They frequently become loners, not by intent, but because no one can keep up with them. Due to their straightforward and outspoken nature, they tend to let others know when they are a hindrance. A Powerful Choleric is always more interested in achieving goals than pleasing people. This is both a positive and a negative.

This personality temperament probably reads more books, watches more television and puts in more overtime at work than any of the other personality temperaments. Unfortunately, this also diverts them from having to face the issue of intimacy in relationships.

Powerful Choleric are proud and may assert their values and opinions in the faces of others. They can present themselves in a distant and insensitive manner. Because of this, they are more successful in promoting ideas, events and business ventures than in developing quality relationships. They appear strong and certain of themselves, and yet they seek the very acceptance and understanding they often avoid giving to others. When people seek advice and direction from a Powerful Choleric, they find them to be helpful. Powerful Choleric have a strong sense of when they are right and often express this in a manner few people can logically refute. Fortunately, they are skilled at making good decisions. Therefore, most people find it unnecessary to confront them. Most are unwilling to be confrontational with a Powerful Choleric person, even if they think they may be wrong. You have to pick your battles when dealing with this personality.

My Powerful Choleric friends are some of the most sensitive people I know, and yet you would never know it by the way they behave. For example my stepfather was known for his argumentative nature. If you came in and said something as benign as, “What a nice day,” he would argue with you. He loved to push people’s buttons and intimidate them. But, for those who took the time to watch him, they would see past his orneriness and realize he did many silent deeds to make other people’s lives easier. He was constantly fixing or building things. He was generous with his money and saw to it that those he loved did not go without. I am demonstrative, so hugs come naturally. I always gave him a hug to greet him when I first saw him and one when I was leaving. However, one time just before he died, I remember hugging him and saying, “I love you.” He responded, “Me, too.” Then, abruptly, as if he had forgotten who he was, he said, “Now, get out of here; you’re always late.”

Perhaps the most intriguing complexity of this personality lies in the fact that underneath this strong presence is a deep insecurity, which is something they protect and guard carefully. Their desire for respect often leaves them empty in personal relationships. The irony is that in order for a Powerful Choleric to experience a full and intimate life, they must expose themselves to perhaps their greatest fear—their emotional insecurity and need to be loved and accepted, just like everyone else. They often bury their emotional needs so deeply that they don’t consciously understand what they are feeling.

The Powerful Choleric is highly protective of his/her partner and loyal to the relationship. They are reliable and dependable and a Powerful Choleric of either gender can be found taking primary responsibility for the financial needs of the family. A Powerful Choleric shows love by making sure everything is taken care of, often through providing financial support rather than time. The Powerful Choleric can also initiate interaction and interesting experiences and activities. Be clear about this though: They usually have an agenda for whatever they are planning. There is definitely an accomplishment on the horizon because of their drive for achievement and recognition for their intelligence.

The Powerful Choleric temperament has a built-in antenna for sensing situations, and they will make a pronouncement only when they know they are right. The need to be right is driven by their desire to hide emotional insecurities; so, regardless of the situation, in their minds they are always right. Even if evidence dictates that they are incorrect, they often brush their error aside as a misunderstanding or misinterpretation. The reality is that they are almost never wrong, and it is a waste of time to argue with them; they stand their ground.

Each personality has a way to try to control other personalities. This can be a conscious or unconscious effort.

Powerful Choleric Reds control by force of will, intimidation and their overall behavior.

In all personalities, you find wonderful strengths that are gifts to be given. However, if you take these strengths to an extreme, they become unhealthy and result in weaknesses or negative traits. To illustrate, I have outlined an example of Red strengths taken to the extreme.

REDS—keep yourself in check:

The natural strength is:  You are an inherent leader.

The extreme is:  You are unwilling to follow and accept input.

The natural strength is:  You are decisive and in charge.

The extreme is:  You make decisions for everyone.

The natural strength is:  You play to win.

The extreme is:  You cheat to win.

The natural strength is:  You enjoy working.

The extreme is: You are a workaholic and create an unbalanced life

 

When the strengths are over-the-top unhealthy they become addictions/compulsions and Reds can: 

• Become obsessed with power, dictatorial, manipulative
• Have unbridled self-interest
• Become workaholics

 

The irony is that Reds are deeply insecure. They seek the very acceptance and understanding they often refuse.

Perfect Melancholy Blue

When thinking of the Perfect Melancholy personality, the Boy Scouts comes to mind. All that Blues stand for is good and honorable. This temperament is sensitive, and they represent so many of the qualities to which many of us aspire. They are caring, loving and naturally service-oriented males and females. They have the ability to see where and when they are needed before it is even known by those they serve. They are hospitable and go the extra mile to make sure needs are met.

The Perfect Melancholy is sincere and observes details surrounding communication. They are inclined to share insecurities and imperfections even with strangers because they love to connect with the heart, not just the head. They always think before they speak and are good listeners. However, they prefer indirect communication when dealing with sensitive matters.

These are the people who, when you meet them on an airplane or sit by them elsewhere, seem to immediately feel the need to engage you by offering you food and conversation. I once sat by a Perfect Melancholy woman on a trip from New York to California. She shared so many details of her life with me it was amazing. She discussed her problems and, all the while, asked questions to genuinely try to get to know me. She was a charming woman. When the plane arrived at our destination, we said goodbye, collected our overhead bags, and exited. Before I got out of the baggage claim area, a voice was calling to me the way an old friend would have. “Dianne,” she said, “come, you have to meet the family.” She introduced me as her friend. The irony of the situation was that I already felt like I knew her family, because I had heard so much about them during the flight.

Now, this situation may seem a little unique and perhaps it was. However, I am aware that this lady who lives hundreds of miles away from me feels she knows me. If I were to run into her again, I would wager that she would recognize me and remember details about our conversation that are only a vague memory to me now. She was a Perfect Melancholy.

Perfect Melancholies have the talent to create masterpieces out of nothing. Sometimes they create with the mediums found in the world and other times they create from within their heart. Their eye for detail and the desire to do all things perfectly helps them to create quality. They have the ability to stand at one end of a room and see, in an instant, everything that is out of place, crooked, or in need of attention in any way. This can be a wonderful asset when working on projects. The Perfect Melancholy does this often without saying anything. They go about their lives giving and serving with ease. In fact, they do it so often and so well that others get used to it and can fail to express appreciation for all the Perfect Melancholy does.

However, being appreciated is one of the things a Perfect Melancholy needs. They are not interested in being invisible. They typically don’t toot their own horn, except to very close friends. They expect others to notice and show appreciation in tangible ways. Thank you is not enough. They prefer a show of thought. In other words, if you know a Perfect Melancholy Blue, take the time to send a card or a token gift to acknowledge them and their efforts so they can look at it from time to time to be reminded of how they are appreciated. To them, words disappear in the air; it is the visible, the tangible, that gives them the greatest satisfaction.

The Perfect Melancholy also is a highly complex individual with many moods. Their focus is on the emotional rather than the rational. They can get stuck in emotional ruts. They put energy into relationships, often more than is required; and they expect others to do the same.

One of my favorite people and closest friends is a Perfect Melancholy. He would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it and would do so in the middle of a winter storm. The problem with this is that later he would expect the same from you, even if it was not your nature. He would say that’s the way it should be; all he wants is to be treated the same way he treats people. That sounds fair enough, right? Well, only if you are a Perfect Melancholy and think and act the same as he does. For any other of the personalities, the bar is far too high. It would require them to give up who they are to be what the Perfect Melancholies want. They also challenge others to do these things for them without being asked, because they expect others to know them well enough to read their mind and know what they need.

Something kind can turn into something manipulating very quickly if Perfect Melancholy Blues don’t keep themselves in a reality check. They have powerful personalities, and they feel driven to participate in life. They voice their opinions and have strong values and belief systems (albeit, they may contain those thoughts to themselves or keep them within the sanctity of their own homes, unlike the Powerful Choleric Reds).

Perfect Melancholies understand the value of manners and propriety in society. They believe society requires structure and discipline in order to function properly. Thank goodness they do because no other personality has this strength and ability for detail. Without this gift we would all be living in chaos. Along with all strengths the Perfect Melancholy possesses, they also were born with a suspicious nature which tends to look for problems real or not. For this reason, they envy the peace of mind and carefree attitude they perceive others have as they “glide” through life. They often cry “foul” and wish either the other personalities would enjoy life less or that at least they would honor the Perfect Melancholies for their commitment to the more disciplined lifestyle. Even though they often feel they are standing alone, they seldom want to change; instead, they would rather see others do the changing.

The desire for perfection is a strong motivator and at the top of the list is the need for what they see as perfect relationships. The need to be completely fulfilled, supported and understood by another person runs deep. Often a perfect melancholy has a vision/script of what a relationship should look like on every level. Their vision can include spouse, child, friends, co-workers and even society as a whole. They see the world differently than the other personalities. They see only right or wrong, black and white. So, in all they do, they have a need to do it right—at least according to their perception of what right is. It is often difficult for them to see more than one way to do something or understand that sometimes the end result is neither right nor wrong.

Take, for example, my perfect Melancholy friend, Ruth (not her real name), who works very hard to keep a clean and tidy home. She does a great job. One evening, I attended a barbeque at her home. Her husband was the grill master for the evening. He began to prepare the meat and placed it next to the grill. Ruth noticed that the grill had not been cleaned beforehand and, to the complete embarrassment of her husband, she began to scrub the grill. He explained to her that he was simply going to burn off what he could before giving it a quick scrub. Ruth whispered, “I’ll do it. You never do it the right way.” Her husband just shrugged and went back to preparing the meat. The Perfect Melancholy believes that this encounter was necessary and feels justified because they truly feel there is a right and wrong or perfect way to do everything. They often feel that if they “fail” at doing it the right way, they are not good enough and are failures; this can cause them to become depressed for what other personalities would not even consider a good reason to think about it.

This drive for perfection is hard and, unfortunately, in spite of all their thoughtful acts of service, a melancholy personality can feel they have not done enough or done it well enough. For this reason, it is important that they are aware of this and keep it all in check, or they can slip to a very negative place and expect that their idea of perfect must be achieved in all facets of their life. Their spouse, children, home, career, etc.—all must meet the expectations Perfect Melancholies determine are necessary so that their world can be perfect. They require others to perform in a certain way to satisfy their needs of a utopian reality. Most Perfect Melancholy personalities know they have issues with perfectionism. On one hand, the high quality they strive for and expect drives them to produce wonderful quality and achieve great success. On the other hand, it stops them dead in their tracks and from producing anything. Many melancholy personalities have shared with me that they feel if they can’t do it perfectly, it is not worth doing. The trick for them is to learn to say, “This is good enough.”

Perfect Melancholies are willing to stick to dull routines if they can see results in the future. They are serious people who set long-range goals and want to do only what has purpose. They are stable and dependable (plow horses versus race horses). Perfect Melancholies are high achievers although they seldom see that in themselves because of their high standards.

Because Perfect Melancholy Blues have such a serious nature, they can be the brunt of jokes. They are caught off guard when someone tells a joke; they take things so literally that they often just don’t get it; even when given an explanation, they still don’t get it, and they dismiss it as stupid.

Perfect Melancholies are moved by the wonders of nature. They love the beauty and detail of their surroundings and often creatively duplicate it in their own world. Not only do they have an eye for detail, but they are experts at recording those details.

Perfect Melancholies are great assets to others because they ask the questions many may overlook.

They love organized closets, believing that there is a place for everything and everything should be in its place. This works well for them for the most part. However, by nature they are not wasteful and love bargains. If you try to reconcile these concepts with the fact that they have trouble letting go of anything because they might need it sometime, you can see their dilemma in creating a neat and tidy world. They may end up with a basement, room or garage that is full to the brim with no apparent order or reason for being that way. The area likely stays that way for a long time. When the Perfect Melancholy looks at the situation, they see so many details that need to be done that it becomes overwhelming and they often stop before they begin. They are always working from the mantra: “If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing right,” a philosophy which may also contribute to the many projects they begin, but never seem to get finished. However, when they do finish, you can count on the job being done to a high standard of quality.

Perfect Melancholies have deep needs for security, and because of this need they plan well for their retirement, are frugal, value possessions, and are willing to work long hours. It is almost as if they are afraid they will not have enough. The plan is to have more time and do more enjoyable things when they retire. Again, work first, play later. Yet, they often feel singled out because they won’t give themselves permission to live more fully in the present. They are always sacrificing for the higher cause, the responsible goal. Within reason, this is a wonderful quality, as long as they do not become resentful of the emotional taskmaster they have put into place and become a martyr. This personality can vacillate between positive qualities and negative behaviors while presenting a seamless transition to the outside world. Keep in mind that I am describing this personality in its purest, childlike form. Recognizing these tendencies can help the mature Melancholy recognize when they have shifted to a negative place and correct their direction.

One Perfect Melancholy I know married a Playful Sanguine because she said it kept her from taking life too seriously. When the sun is out on a Saturday morning she thinks about cleaning the garage and her husband thinks about playing golf. She says having another way of seeing the day has kept her from being in a rut and her husband says she keeps him grounded.

Perfect Melancholies enjoy sensitive and deep conversations, and they are willing to give conversations time to run their course. You might say that they need to talk until the subject has been looked at from every angle several times. And until that is done, they do not feel it has been given enough attention. If it is a problem they are discussing, at times even countless review is not enough to satisfy them. There is no quick way to communicate with a Perfect Melancholy with a problem. More importantly, if they do not feel they have the undivided attention of the person listening to them, they continue to repeat this process until they do feel heard. Something to remember is that talking is the way they process, and they are done processing when they are talked out.

They have strong skills in empathizing with others and those skills make them good listeners. They can be romantic and love to plan romantic encounters. Conversely, they love it when their companion reciprocates with personal, intimate encounters. It is the planning that their partner demonstrates that is more significant to them than the actual event.

The Perfect Melancholy gives relationships priority over all other activities. Because they value intimacy, (not sex, but emotional connection) they place a high value on it. They always consider the spouse first in decision-making even if they already know how they want it to turn out. They spend hours planning and preparing and studying, thus, taking responsibility for and making an ongoing contribution to the relationship. They are excellent in long-term commitments.

         Perfect Melancholy Blues control by threat of moods, indirect suggestions, and guilt trips. For example: “How can you possibly say ‘no’ to me when I have done so much for you?” Or they tell you a story (they heard from someone else or read someplace) that serves as the perfect example of what they believe you should do.

Remember, in all personalities you will find wonderful strengths that are gifts to be given. However, if you take the strength to an extreme, it becomes unhealthy and results in a weakness or negative trait. To illustrate, I have outlined an example of Blue strengths taken to the extreme.

BLUES—keep yourself in check:

The natural strength is:  You are good at adhering to schedules.

The extreme is:  You function poorly without a plan.

The natural strength is:  You are meticulous and detail oriented.

The extreme is:  You have excessive attention to physical needs and irrelevant details.

The natural strength is:  You always strive for quality in all you do.

The extreme is:  You have unrealistic expectations on yourself and others, which can compromise quality.

The natural strength is:  You are a sympathetic person and really care about others problems.

The extreme is:  You are unable to detach and move on because you hold on to others’ problems as if they were your own.

When the strengths are over-the-top unhealthy, they

Become addictions/compulsions and Blues can become: 

• obsessed with punctuality
• a hypochondriac
• a nitpicker and constant critic
• withdrawn and antisocial

 

Peaceful Phlegmatic Green

 

The Peaceful Phlegmatic Green temperament seems to be almost a buffer for the other three personalities. Peaceful Phlegmatic provide logical consistency and balance. Their mantra seems to be, “It doesn’t really matter that much,” and, in the long run, it really doesn’t! They sincerely believe in diplomacy, and they promote cooperation at all cost. Easiest of all the temperaments to get along with, the Peaceful Phlegmatic fits in everywhere. They can talk brilliantly or keep quiet, according to the situation and the choices they have made as they go through the experiences in their life. The Peaceful Phlegmatic is the closest there is to a balanced person: one who does not function in the extremes or excesses of life, but walks solidly down the middle road, avoiding conflict. They often find it difficult to make decisions large or small if they perceive those decisions might cause conflict or problems.  This is primarily because they live with a knot in their stomach that is agitated with every decision they must make.  They worry about making the right decision big or small.  In talking with many green personalities this is the advice they share; recognize that anxiety they feel signals that school is in session.  So whenever they feel a knot in their stomach it is time to stretch and grow.  Change isn’t easy, nor is it comfortable.  Greens must learn to embrace the anxiety and use it as a catalyst to move forward.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic communication style is typically “to watch/ponder and keep quiet.” They have a relaxed body language and a calming presence. The Peaceful Phlegmatic usually speaks only when they believe it is important. My Grandfather Mitchell had a gentle Green personality. I knew, even as a child, that when he said something to me, it must be important. He rarely jumped into conversations; he sat quietly enjoying the family discussion.

Peaceful Phlegmatic speak with soft voices and have wonderful dry humor. Don’t let this fool you. They have strong opinions. They usually won’t say what they are thinking unless they are sure you agree or that it is important enough to risk confrontation.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic is usually difficult to know. They operate on a self-serving power orientation, but so subtly that it often leaves one wondering whether Peaceful Phlegmatic Green is the manipulated or the manipulator. They can be timid and shy, which keeps them from living life to the fullest. They often depend on others to make their life happen. The Peaceful Phlegmatic does not attract attention. They quietly do what is expected without looking for credit. While Powerful Choleric is the “born leader,” Peaceful Phlegmatic is the “learned leader” and, with proper motivation, accepts this leadership role. They are wonderful leaders because they have the ability to clarify problems and get along with everyone. President Jimmy Carter has this personality style.

Peaceful Phlegmatic like to take life slowly. They don’t expect sunshine every day or a pot of gold at the end of each rainbow. When rain falls on their parade, they keep on marching.

My daughter, a Peaceful Phlegmatic, once told me that she has an agreement with life that she has accepted. The agreement is that every so often she knows she has to deal with a situation that leaves her unhappy; then it passes and she will be okay again. She recognizes that these situations of life are inevitable and the cycle will repeat. Her awareness allows her to accept them, learn from them, and roll with them. We all know this about life, but only the Peaceful Phlegmatic would think about it enough to create an agreement with life. The rest of us go kicking and screaming through the different challenges we face or sometimes just ignore them.

The chameleon would be the Peaceful Phlegmatic mascot and demonstrates the ability to adapt and blend well. They are the hippies of the personalities; they believe in the comfortable, low-maintenance look. Like water, they represent flowing over and around life’s difficulties, rather than demanding that obstacles in their path be moved. Unless other personalities push Peaceful Phlegmatic into a combative stance, they can tolerate a great deal of pressure.

Patience is one of the most important qualities teachers/parents can have. A patient teacher/parent sends a message of trust and a belief that people can make the right choices in life when given the choice to act for themselves. That represents so clearly how a Peaceful Phlegmatic Green operates.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic is very impressionable. They observe and keep a watchful eye on the human condition. They often follow what their friends are doing or believing rather than experience the anguish that comes from confrontation or rejection. They often align with humanitarians or “save the earth” trends that are happening in the current generation, believing they are taking the road less traveled. As teenagers, while all of the personality types follow the natural tendency to want to change things and be different from the previous generations, the Peaceful Phlegmatic continues to follow this pattern throughout his or her life, adjusting only when they have proof they have taken the wrong direction. They appear to approach life so simply that one may misinterpret them and believe them to be at peace; when, underneath, their real feelings may actually be fear, timidity, laziness, or personal inadequacy. My friend, Troy, a Peaceful Phlegmatic Green, once told me not to be deceived by their peaceful exterior because, internally, Greens are tied up in knots. That’s why they are motivated by peace; they are trying to find it.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic doesn’t trust freely. They usually hold their true feelings very close to the heart, safely tucked away from others who may not approve of or value them. A Peaceful Phlegmatic may doubt him or herself so much, that they constantly demand proof of acceptance. Phlegmatic women may ignore the dictates of society, refusing to clutter their life with such things as make-up, uncomfortable shoes, or high-maintenance hair styles. Peaceful Phlegmatic don’t seem to be trendy; they may even appear off beat, quiet and nerdy. “Prove to me,” they say, “that you accept me. Prove to me that you can look past social or physical norms and that you will stay with me and be there for me always.” However, the gentle nature of the Peaceful Phlegmatic shines through, regardless of their level of trust. They remain kind and agreeable with almost everyone they meet. They strive for balance and place a high value on it. A sure sign of a Peaceful Phlegmatic personality is the individual who genuinely feels he or she is almost an equal blend of all four personalities. Often their profile scores reflect that.

A Peaceful Phlegmatic can remain an unproductive dreamer. They have tremendous plans and can imagine themselves to be elsewhere, but their dreams remain just that—dreams—unless they stretch themselves and focus and make them realities. Peaceful Phlegmatic are the least effective of all the personalities at implementing changes. They often lack direction, and this breeds a lack of motivation. Until the Peaceful Phlegmatic establishes goals and commits to accomplishing those goals, they remain unmotivated. Setting and accomplishing goals doesn’t come easily to them. Until they are able to establish direction in their own lives, they become unsettled and discouraged.
Peaceful Phlegmatic may miss many potentially wonderful moments in life because they look to others rather than to themselves for excitement and relevance. Peaceful Phlegmatic are vulnerable to wasting time. They may give it away to boredom, laziness, or a dull reluctance to change.

I have a Peaceful Phlegmatic friend I love dearly who never goes anywhere or does anything unless someone takes the lead and plans it for her. Others are required to keep prodding her along with each leg of the adventure, never sure if she is having a good time or not. If asked what she wants to do; she always says, “I don’t know.” Once when we were on a trip, it seemed to me that she was having a horrible time and wanted to go home. However, when it was time to go; she said, “I hate to go; this is the most fun I have had in years.”

         Peaceful Phlegmatic prefer the silent treatment because they are uncomfortable with confrontation. It is very difficult to live with people who silently resent your behavior. The Peaceful Phlegmatic seems to take advantage of others’ natural curiosity by refusing to discuss their feelings openly, forcing other personalities to struggle to understand them. They frequently refuse to pay the price of involvement because they may fear the inevitable consequences of confrontation or rejection. This fear can keep them from experiencing intimacy.

The Peaceful Phlegmatic is tolerant of others and accepts most people unconditionally. They accept tardiness and can entertain themselves easily. They are the kindest people you will ever meet, and they bring this quality into their relationships. Because of this quality, they do not understand people who act in unkind ways. They won’t be with someone who they perceive as mean. They appreciate not having to carry the ball with conversation or planning events. They enjoy positive leadership qualities in others and are loyal and committed to relationships. They bring a gentleness and strength to any relationship.

 

Peaceful Phlegmatic Greens Control by procrastinating, being passively stubborn, and providing no feedback.

Again, remember that in all personalities you find wonderful strengths that are gifts to be given. However, if you take the strength to an extreme, it becomes unhealthy and results in a weakness or negative trait. To illustrate, I have outlined an example of Green strengths taken to the extreme.

 

GREENS—keep yourself in check:

The natural strength is:  You are calm under pressure.

The extreme is:  You hide emotions, causing pressure to build inside and eventually lash out at whoever is closest.

The natural strength is:  You are easy going and adaptable.

The extreme is:  You let others decide everything and are reluctant to give input.

The natural strength is:  You are very cooperative and pleasant to be around.

The extreme is:  You compromise standards.

The natural strength is:  You are opened minded.

The extreme is: You have no strength of conviction.

 

When the strengths are over-the-top unhealthy, they become addictions/compulsions and Greens can become: 

• Closed off from the world to avoid pressure.
• Immobilized by fear.
• Easily manipulated.
• Passive aggressive.

 

 

Playful Sanguine Yellow

The Playful Sanguine is “off swinging on a star, bringing moonbeams home in a jar” until they grow up. (Or, should I say IF they grow up?) Playful Sanguine loves the fairytales of life and are always the hopeful optimist expecting to live happily ever after. They reflect the spirit of the wind and the life-giving miracle of fresh air. They love life and they have a mental attitude that allows them to appreciate what they have, rather than being miserable about what they lack. They are the only personality that has a natural sense of self-worth. They do not feel they have to earn it. To them, the proof that they have worth is in the fact that they are alive.

Playful Sanguine is emotional and demonstrative, they make work fun, and they love to be with people. When life is dull, they provide excitement. They seek enchanting opportunities and find life laced with silver linings.

A Playful Sanguine makes the home fun and magnetizes children like the Pied Piper. Since Playful Sanguine sparkle brighter in proportion to the size of the crowd, they love an audience.

Playful Sanguine is engaging and fun to be around. They use open, expressive body language and loud speech. They think quickly on their feet, so they can express their thoughts and feelings spontaneously (often taking longer than needed to get the message across). They are easy to converse with and are comfortable with all types of people. They are able to convey themselves directly in conflict and become energized in large groups. They are superb at superficial conversation, and they give hugs and appropriate physical affection freely. Playful Sanguine tells stories of small adventures, and while they preserve the core facts, they will embellish minute details to make their stories more interesting.     

If you think you are a Playful Sanguine, there is one sure test. If the first feeling (not thought) you have in the morning is happy, then you are most likely a Playful Sanguine. For individuals with this temperament, it usually takes a few minutes before reality encroaches on the feeling of optimism that is typically attached to the first stretch of an awakening day.

The most obvious way to spot a Playful Sanguine is to listen in on any group and locate the one who is the loudest or who is dominating the conversation with a story or joke.

Playful Sanguine can be easily distracted and can have difficulty remembering where they leave things. But, not to worry: Every momentary trauma always makes a delightful story for them to tell later. They can usually be found turning a simple routine into an enjoyable event.

         While Playful Sanguine is not good at remembering names, dates, and facts, they do have a unique ability to hold on to the colorful details and feelings of life. They remember faces and the personal stories that go with them. They are very warm and physical people. They tend to hug, kiss and pat their friends. This contact is so natural to them that they don’t even realize they are doing it. This may take some getting used to for some personalities. For example, Peaceful Phlegmatic has a particularly hard time with the physical demonstrations, and they typically will pull back slightly from their hug or move as they approach. While Powerful Choleric Reds are often reluctant at first, they usually succumb to the open approach and are intrigued that the Playful Sanguine seems un-intimidated by them.

Playful Sanguine Yellows have an innate sense of the dramatic and a magnetic attraction to center stage and to the lens of a camera. However, they are very vain about their appearance and if they have times when they don’t feel they look their best, they will try to avoid the spotlight; alas, it is impossible.

The Playful Sanguine is the one personality that always appears to be wide-eyed and innocent. They have a naïve trust and love that is given freely. Even into old age they have a childlike simplicity, not to be confused with senility. They may look away from danger or deceit, not because they are unintelligent but because they are unwilling to believe that someone they care about could be capable of wrong doings. The Playful Sanguine often becomes a victim of his/her own naiveté. They are easily fooled and easy prey for more sophisticated and calculating personalities. Although, they readily give trust and love they can also shut down and pull back (while healing) in an attempt to protect their vulnerability when the trust and love are abused.

They are demonstrative people who are optimistic and enthusiastic about almost everything. Whatever activity or idea you bring up, they want to do, and wherever you mention going, they want to go. They move, jump, wave and wiggle.

Playful Sanguine is eager to experience all facets of life. Always curious, they don’t want to miss anything. At parties, if they are involved in one conversation and happen to hear their name mentioned across the room, they will stop mid-sentence and turn to the new voice. The Sanguine mind flits quickly from one conversation to another, trying to capture everything. Secrets drive them crazy, yet they delight in being surprised. They snoop for Christmas presents. They love a mystery and investigate anything they haven’t already figured out.

Florence Littauer states in her book, Personality plus, that “one reason Playful Sanguine stays childlike is that they were such adorable children. They were doted on by parents and teachers, and they don’t want to leave this ‘center of attention’ life.” Frankly, they don’t really want to grow up.

While other temperaments desire to leave childhood behind, the Playful Sanguine likes the world of make believe. In the stories, they are adored by all who live in the kingdom and never have to go look for a job.

Age brings responsibility, and Playful Sanguine innately would rather avoid settling down in life as long as possible, trying to avoid perceived boring routines.

         Playful Sanguine Yellows find it easy to relate to people of all ages. Their joyful nature brightens the dispositions of most people they encounter. They are charismatic and have an abundance of energy and enthusiasm. A Playful Sanguine tends to attract and inspire others to work and to enjoy their work. There are no strangers to a Playful Sanguine. Once they say hello, you feel accepted and part of their circle of friends. While others hesitate or hold back, Playful Sanguine open conversations with anyone available. Since Playful Sanguine do things with flair, they seem to be living a more exciting life than their friends. It’s not that what they do is so unusual, but that their retelling of any event adds to its intrigue. They have the unconscious ability to turn any simple task into a main event.

A Playful Sanguine Yellow values choice and freedom, so they do not seek to control others. They live without many expectations. A spouse of a Playful Sanguine soon learns that all they have to do to keep their loved one happy is to show sincere, open adoration and to be attentive. No point in trying to fake it because it takes too much energy and a Playful Sanguine has a sixth sense that automatically knows when someone is trying to fake it. Individuals with this personality temperament give without concern for what they might receive. They don’t sweat the small stuff and, to the Playful Sanguine, everything is small stuff. They forgive easily. This may sound like a noble thing but if the truth be known, as mentioned, they have terrible memories for some details and often forget what someone has done to hurt them. A Playful Sanguine friend once told me that it simply takes too much energy to hold a grudge.

Playful Sanguine rarely becomes bogged down with details or carries “emotional baggage.” They let go of controlling friends, poor work conditions, and other undesirable and demanding circumstances. While a Playful Sanguine is as vulnerable to these experiences as any personality, their desire for freedom supersedes any ability to hold a grudge and relinquish their power. Subconsciously, they recognize baggage for what it is and instinctively move away from its negative influence.

No personality plays the way a Playful Sanguine does. Since they are so spontaneous, they are always ready for whatever fun opportunities come their way. This does not mean that they just go with anyone any place to utilize time. They become bored easily, and so they have a keen sense of what constitutes real fun for them. They love to celebrate everything imaginable. They find holidays, some of which they have made up, and special moments refreshing.

         Because they are unpredictable and spontaneous, a Playful Sanguine brings excitement to his or her spouse. The Playful Sanguine enjoys unusual experiences and is easy to get along with. Not being burdened with emotional baggage themselves also allows them to have few expectations of others. The expectations they do have are usually related to spiritual values, social unity, and compatibility. They are passionate and have a strong ability to create natural romance, but they imbue a creative flair that is spontaneous and not premeditated.

Playful Sanguine love to learn and they use their ability to visualize, capturing those things they want to remember. They love hearing people’s stories of experiences and adventures. Mature Playful Sanguine listen attentively, carefully gathering information to help plan their next escapade. They are almost always sensory learners, so they embrace experiences as learning tools. They promote changing the world around them and shifting negative life circumstances to a positive outlook. They are agreeable to change and open to accepting others’ suggestions. In fact, they enjoy change; they see it as an exciting activity. As children, and often into adulthood, they can display fickle and undisciplined dispositions. They are restless and find sticking with any task over time quite boring. The Playful Sanguine often experiences numerous job changes—not because the jobs are uninteresting, but because people with this temperament generally master the position quickly and becomes bored. (This is the same reason they do not like traditional school environments.)

The Playful Sanguine often expresses anger when he or she feels life is becoming difficult and unfair. These individuals feel instant frustration when problems are not easily solved. Daily activities, such as driving on busy freeways, balancing checkbooks, putting oil in the car, looking up numbers in a telephone book and so forth, can upset the Playful Sanguine so easily that they often lose their concentration and begin rummaging through their minds for ways to escape the insanity others call “responsible living.” To avoid frustrating problems, the Playful Sanguine may plan ahead and put safety nets in place; such as, to avoid freeways during rush hour they may take the longer but more scenic routes which are less stressful and more enjoyable. They hire an accountant to keep their finances in order; utilize full-service gas stations, and rely heavily on directory assistance.

Playful Sanguine Yellows control by their natural charm and also by not giving up until they get what they want, wearing you down in a childlike way and through playful nagging, i.e., “please, please, pretty please,” and so on.

As with the other personalities, if a Playful Sanguine takes his or her strengths to an extreme the strengths become unhealthy and become weaknesses. To illustrate, outlined is an example of Yellow strengths taken to extreme.

YELLOWS—keep yourself in check:

The natural strength is:  You are creative and are able to live in the moment.

The extreme is:  You depend on charm and wit and you do not plan for the future.

The natural strength is:  You are an entertaining storyteller.

The extreme is:  You overpower conversations and do all the talking.

The natural strength is:  You love new things and enjoy change and diversity.

The extreme is:  You shop irrationally and charge things, becoming financially irresponsible.

When the strengths are over-the-top unhealthy they become addictions/compulsions and Yellows can become: 

• Party animals without consequence.
• Fools in public, with loud or dramatic behavior.
• Debt-laden shop-a-holics.